Written by: Erin Bell | Wedding Storyteller

Ah, your wedding party — it’s the people you love. Your ride-or-die friends. Your biggest supporters. Deciding who makes the cut is a tough choice. There’s a lot to consider, and you’re afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings. That’s why we suggest you keep these tips in mind.

Take your time

There are no take backs. Once you ask someone to be in your wedding party, you can’t disinvite them. So, don’t rush your decision. Give yourself time to consider who you will be closest to years from now, who will be helpful and supportive on your big day, and who will mesh well as a group.

Consider the size of your wedding

There’s no limit to how many bridesmaids or groomsmen you can have. But generally, factor in how large your wedding will be. If it’s a larger, more formal affair, then a bigger party makes sense. On average, a wedding party is four people.  So use that as a gauge when deciding what size works for your day.

Don’t be traditional

While the custom might be to have ladies on one side, gents on the other, don’t be afraid to nix this tradition. If the bride wants a close male friend on her side and the groom wants his sister on his side, perfect! It’s all about including the people you love on your special day.

Don’t ask someone just because they asked you

You might feel obligated to include someone who asked you to be in his or her wedding. But if you don’t speak to them regularly or there are people closer to you that you’d like to include, it’s OK not to make them part of your party. If it’s brought up, explain honestly. You wish you could have everyone that you love up there with you, but it’s not realistic, and you, unfortunately, you couldn’t incorporate everyone.

Think outside the box

If you’re struggling to widdle down your number of attendants, think of other roles you can have people do. You can include the people you love by asking them to be an usher, provide special music, or do a reading at the ceremony. The options are endless, especially if you’re the creative type.

Don’t stress about keeping it even

Having an equal number of attendants may make photos easier. But don’t sweat it if the groom’s side ends up having one more person than the bride’s, or vice versa. Your photos will still be awesome (your photographer has dealt with this before), and it’s OK to double up for the walk down the aisle.